Miracles ...

As the month of December began I celebrated as I always do with my philosophy about miracles.  We all know that it's the month of miracles with the oil that burned for 8 days, the royal son born in the stable and the return of light after the longest, darkest night of the year.

Then I remembered an adage that says, 'if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."  Yet I wanted this year to be different.  Here's what happens when you look for things to be grateful for, you focus on the positive and you realize you have so much to be grateful for.  When you look for miracles - you might find yourself stretching to find things, moments, experiences to call a miracle.

As the days passed I realized that miracles are not about me, but about those around me.  And if I couldn't have everyone looking for miracles, it was my time to start creating some!  Truth be told, I didn't set out to create miracles.  In my mind I envision that's exactly how Jesus started.  He didn't get out of bed in the morning, arms high overhead in the sign of victory yelling, 'Let's get to making some miracles today!"  What he did was help the ones he could help.  Make a difference to those that didn't quite believe.

It would be easy to help convince Ellie and Bill of miracles by making things happen for them, but they're already there!  They believe it's possible.  I knew I should begin with people who really needed a miracle.  Caveat here:  I'm not Oprah.  I didn't buy cars, homes, vacations.  I didn't hand things out for the attention.

This began very slowly.  Very innocently with an act of kindness for an unexpected co-worker.  She made mention of Christmas music, I asked if she'd heard a new song this year.  When she hadn't instead of texting a link, I burned her a CD of my 2016 playlist.  Innocent right?  I left it on her desk with a little note.

The following week a co-worker confided her frustration in her marriage.  I asked if she and her spouse socialized with other happily, married couples.  She said she didn't know many, so I offered to get our families together at the local Christmas tree lighting ceremony - no dinner, no planning.  Just an opportunity to share the Christmas spirit.  The following day I wrapped a burlap ribbon around a copy of Carry On, Warrior from my shelf and set it on her desk chair with a card.  The card said, "I know marriage is hard.  Here's the great thing - you can do hard things!!"

A couple days later during a meeting a co-worker shared frustration with some personal issues.  "If only I were married, I could use that built-in support!"  The following day I put together a small Christmas floral arrangement with white roses, greenery and sprigs of red berries.  I added a card that said, "Merry Christmastime!  from Herself the Elf" and left it on her desk.  I didn't need to be recognized, I only wanted her to see that she had people to support her and lift her spirits.

Later that day she asked me if it was me, and I said yes.  I told her that as she told her story the previous day it seemed like she really needed a hug.  And since I couldn't do that in a meeting - I just wanted to bring her a smile to show her people cared.  She jumped up from her chair and said, "yes, a hug is exactly what I needed."  Although this never happens - I stopped hugging first.  I realized how very much she really needed this hug.  And now she has the flowers to remind her.

Here's the best part.  I didn't set out to make miracles.  I just wanted to make a difference.  To let others know they matter, they are noticed and they belong.  I believe are greatest desire is to be part of something greater than ourselves.  To matter - to be heard.  As I listened to each one of them I wanted to acknowledge in my own way that they had been heard.

In the spirit of Christmas and in the spirit of making a difference how will you find the miracles?

Kindness matters.  Just try it!

Old friends, new friends

State Farm Executive Vice President, Rand Harbert with me at City Line Operation Center in Dallas on Monday, December 5, 2016

Monday was a bit of old and a bit of new.  The holidays seem to bring the best and the worst out in people.  Monday was full of the best.

Above you'll see me with an old friend of mine, Rand Harbert.  He's second in command at State Farm in Bloomington.  We share much in common and I've beens fortunate to be able to connect with him over the years.  And most often at the holidays.

You see, we go way back.  I was an Auto Underwriter and member of the Women's Networking organization in Ballston Spa when I first met him.  He was our Agency Vice President - whose office was in PA - just outside of Philadelphia.  When he was scheduled for a visit to our area for a meeting, WNET gained access to him as a guest speaker on the topic of networking.  I worked with his then assistant, Michelle to schedule and was point of contact the day of the event.  She was wonderful - admirable for her poise, brilliance and graciousness.  That day she gave me a tip to connect with Rand and I've never forgotten.

Don't worry, I've stayed in touch with her as well.  She's gone on to be a State Farm agent, an agency consultant and now has the privilege of leading a group of agents as a Sales Leader in the Philadelphia area.  We've exchanged emails over the years and I was fortunate about a year ago to escort a tour of our facilities in Dallas where she appeared out of nowhere.  So grateful!

Back to Rand.  Four years ago I reintroduced myself to Rand at the "Holiday in the Atrium" festivities where our then Chairman, Ed Rust shares his philosophy on the past year and his plan for the following year - all while doing so with kindness and caring through our Merry Christmas event at HQ.  It's in person and exciting to get an up front seat or standing room for the event.  That's something I miss about not being in Bloomington each year.

When I was invited to a 90 minute Q&A with our new Chairman, Michael Tipsord (below - blue shirt) and Rand I jumped at the chance.  It was like the good old days.  I was fortunate to sneak in with Rand and remind him how we'd met - he hugged me like the gregarious Texan he is and whether he remembered or not he made me feel special.  We snapped a quick photo and wished one another a Merry Christmas.

Below are the members of my department that we also invited to the event.  They were much more interested in a photo with our Chairman so I arranged for that to happen as well.

I believe it's important to find people to look up to - to admire and recognize for how they've impacted your life.  I also believe it's important to act as though someone may feel that way about you one day too.  That's the privilege of the rite of passage.  Truth be told, Rand is likely only a few years older than I am, yet he amasses so much wisdom and has the platform to share.

My Christmas miracle was that hug and photo op yesterday.  It gave me a renewed hope for the future of the company and that good people are all around us!

Chairman and CEO, Michael Tipsord in the center (blue shirt) surrounded by CCC Sales employees after his Q&A for the Dallas location on Monday, December 5, 2016

With a little help from my friends

This is exactly what friendship is all about.

A message like this is perfect for illustrating for Ellie what friendship feels like.  I'm sure I've shared before that Aubrie is not really a friend of Ellie's, although she follows Ellie around just to annoy her. Although Ellie realizes this, it's  hard at 10 to know what to do with someone like this.  So I've helped her see what real friendship looks like - it makes you feel good about who you are.

We've talked through how i feel after a phone call with my friends, Miss Erica in Bloomington or Miss Monica in Atlanta.  How they make me feel happier just talking to them.  We talk about our kids and our jobs and how we're glad we have each other to share this journey with.  Ellie recognized that I'm always happier when I have a phone call with one of them.

I explained she should feel good about herself when with a friend.  They should lift each other up, support and encourage one another.  Not tear one another down.  I've explained we all need help, and a good friend is the best solution for that!

I know she understands, its just a matter of practical application of that strategy that will make all the difference!

Elf

Sunday was our first Christmas family movie night of the 2016 season.  Ellie chose Elf because it makes us all laugh outloud.  It is unrealistic and pretty goofy, yet we love to get caught up in the antics of Buddy the Elf.

I've added some of our favorite sayings from the movie.  And believe me, there are SO many more.  Ridiculous things like the 4 food groups of an Elf are:

Candy

Candy Canes

Candy Corn

Maple Syrup

The note he leaves for the family when he messes things up and leaves:

"I'm sorry I messed up your lives and shoved 11 cookies into the VCR."

Christmas is about joy.  It's about sharing.  And most of all I like to think it's about laughter and the experience of being together!

That's what Elf brought us Sunday evening!

Life Lessons

It was that time again on Friday to participate in my annual goal setting tele-class with Life Strategist, Lorin Beller.  The first time I completed an annual goal exercise in this format was a snowy December Friday in 2002.  There was a group of forward-thinking, compassionate, motivated women being led by Lorin through reflection and intention on the past and upcoming year.  We enjoyed lively conversations and times of quiet idea generation.  It was a very beneficial time.

Fast forward 14 years and I'm still doing the same exercise, this time over the phone.  As has been the case for the last 7 years since Lorin no longer holds the sessions in person - she's in California and I'm in Texas!

This past Friday's session was beneficial and therapeutic.  It left me with the sense of still having some work to do this month to finish strong to build the foundation for a very prosperous 2017!  In reading email after work I found this passage above.  It fit nicely into the day.

When I shared the experience at home Ellie reminded me that it was much like how she and I craft our Vision Boards the last week of the year.  How much fun to know that we will completing that again this year to 'envision' what's to come in 2017!

December ...

Oh, what a month this will be.  We may not have that gorgeous snow on trees in Texas they way we've enjoyed in New York and in Illinois, although we'll be filled with December magic just the same!

As I consider how the month of December builds in anticipation and excitement, I consider a new version of "12 Days of Christmas" more in line with the "The Days of December."  More to come as I may come up with how that comes together by the end of the month.

As we anticipate Christmas, I also recognize the opportunity to put an exclamation point on the year 2016, and put plans in place to kick off 2017 with great joy.  Something so powerful and magnificent takes thought, energy and a great plan!  Today I join my annual goal-setting call for next year.  I've signed up for this call year after year as I find the planning process with a group of action-oriented, deep-spirited, wonderful women a great experience.

It began in a cabin in the woods on a snowy Friday in 1999.  Hard to believe that all these years later the process continues to work - today its a tele-class and how much I still look forward to it each year.  It's right in line with the anticipation of December, of Advent and of the magic that awaits in 2017!

Look for the miracles today.  I promise what you seek, you will find!

December is the month of miracles

This page, from Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance is my favorite page of the entire year.  I look forward to December 1st each year anticipating reading this passage.

December is the month of miracles.  The oil that burns for eight days, the royal son born in a stable and the inexplicable return of Light after the longest, darkest night of the year.  Where there is love, there are always miracles.  And where there are miracles, there is great joy.

I'm asking people close to me to look for the miracles this month.  If you don't want to wait for one, create one!  We are capable of miraculous things when we take the time to make it happen.  After Ellie had a tiring day yesterday, and she's such a good helper I asked her to help with this too.  I explained that a lot of preparation goes on for Jesus to be born this month.  Its truly all hands on deck for this event.  And here's how she can help - look for the miracles, help one another, let kindness be our first words, be someone else's miracle.  Its amazing what happens when you look for one.

Yesterday's post I shared a photo of a sunrise the day after the dark clouds.  I was so happy to see such a beautiful sunrise.  As I rounded the corner to leave the neighborhood on my commute I saw the beautiful scene in the photo below.  THAT was my miracle.  The colors, the selection and the timing all indicated to me that if you look for a miracle, you will find one.

Let's keep looking ...

Comes the Dawn

The day after the large black clouds, this beautiful sunrise followed.  It confirmed that all you need to do is believe.  Sometimes it's difficult, yet it is always worth it.  It creates ease in the journey.  What if it were just easy?  What if?  What if I just didn't make it harder for myself, wouldn't that be easier?

Oh, the beauty and lessons these Texas sunrises continue to bring!

Dark Clouds

The other day as I left the house for work I was astonished at the oddness of the sky.  Although it felt like it could be interpreted as my own personal black cloud, it was really in the sky for all to notice.  It was like a blanket covering the whole neighborhood.  Here's the awesome part, there was light in view.  To me it was a sign that regardless of the struggle, there is hope.  And what a season to be in and to be living in a place of hope.  A place of believing.  And a place of miracles.  I snapped the photo to remind myself that regardless of the black clouds - good will come.  Patience...

My reading for the morning was, 'when you begin to worry turn each care into a prayer and then stop there blessing it up to God!"  What a great message!  Even black clouds don't block the blessings .. and the prayers!

Christmas in Texas

There is something very special about Texas.  There is a quality quite unique in the spirit, unity and spirit of Texans.  They are willing to fight for what they believe in and take action to get things done. They love their BBQ, their boots and their music.  And after awhile it grows on you ....

Until I saw this Frosty in a neighbor's yard a few streets over from our house.  Although I have to say it did make me laugh.  At the character of this bold, bigger-than-life true Texan snowman!  When I realized it was made to share the spirit of the holiday it was rather endearing to me.

In a way we have our own personal Big Tex in our neighborhood to welcome in the Christmas season!

More fun from the Arboretum

You know our girl, one who's never shy of the camera.  The one who loves to have her photo taken, has now taken to the pose.  You got it, the pose.  She finds a particularly photo-friendly area and plants herself waiting for the photo to be taken.

It sure does make it easy for us to get great shots of her.  That smile is priceless!  So happy it's this way rather than kicking and screaming to NOT have the picture taken.  Oh, but that may only be a year or two away, right?

Nah!  She's a friend to the camera!  Just take a look ....

Ellie and Honest Abe

Jeremiah was a bullfrog, and he had a friend named Ellie!

A bit darker, but a cool waterfall behind us.

Ellie, being Ellie ...

Capturing us

There are some days you just know.  You read one another well and feel in sync.  The stories, laughter and connection is the main thing.  It doesn't exist as something separate.  It is something that you feel within you and envision traveling back and forth between you.  Its in the space between the sentences and the places where you connect.

Sometimes these moments happen when you have a planned occasion to celebrate - usually for an instant.  And then other times they exist while the world is spinning round, and others need your attention.  When you look at one another you know it's just for you - you in the 'me and you' version.

Friday Ellie took lots of photos of the two of us.  The weather was perfect and the fresh air made us feel as though we earned it.  So she just kept snapping away.  She loves to take photos.  Here's the series from just outside the Degoyer Rose Garden at the Arboretum.

The reason I love the one above more than the others is because it's real.  No lipstick, no fixing hair, no arranging it just right.  We were sharing laughter and having fun with it.  And she captured it.  I envision this is the kind of photo for the back of a dust jacket on a book - should I have one published one day.  Its how I want to be remembered I guess.

And last but not least, we were just done for the day.  No one was happy anymore.  There were requests to find the bathroom, and why can't we buy bottled water out of the machine.  Our time at the Arboretum was coming to an end.  Here we let Ellie capture what it looks like to just be done.

Funny, right?

Saturday in the Park

As I thought about the choices we had for the day after Thanksgiving with Papa, and after several days of eating a lot of holiday fare, I kept my plan on the down low until it was time.  On Friday the sun was shining and the air was cooler than in past weeks.  Seemed like the perfect day to spend a couple hours walking the gardens of the Arboretum in Dallas.

Although it was a school holiday, and many must have had the day off, it wasn't overcrowded.  It was just right.  Many of the pumpkin areas had transitioned to the 12 Days of Christmas displays with moving life-size scenes.  Christmas music played from the speakers and the sun shone just right for many autumn photos to be taken!

I'm not sure the choice to visit was entirely popular, yet I promised fresh air, sunshine and a brisk walk to left us from the holiday food drowsiness.  Ellie wasn't convinced either, until she got there, and then she loved it.  Floating from one area to the next finding new things, colors, scenes that fascinated her.

After just under two hours we went home where the boys went upstairs to the media room to 'watch t.v.' which is code word for snooze!  Ellie and I looked through pictures, made some Christmas plans and put away the Thanksgiving recipes and dining room decor.

We finished our day together with dinner at Bob's Chop House in Plano.  It was a wonderfully grown-up dinner that Ellie loved!  Although she didn't partake in a steak, she loved her salad, lobster bisque and over-sized baked potato.  Papa's rack of lamb was superb and Bill and I both enjoyed our filets cooked just right!  It was a lovely evening with Frank Sinatra playing in the background reminding us of a memorable dinner in Las Vegas years ago.

Thanksgivingtime

Bill and Jude - Thanksgiving-time 2001

Today is a bit of a stroll down memory lane of Thanksgiving time.  The first holiday Bill and I celebrated together was Thanksgiving.  Its also the holiday that I associate with getting engaged as we did the evening before Thanksgiving.  It seems so long ago, and just yesterday just the same.

Below is a newspaper clipped from the mid-1990's.  Its a Sharon Randall column about Thanksgiving that I carried around in my wallet for years.  Yes, I'm one of those people.  I loved reading this one in particular because each year the holidays change, and this story shows us that that's okay too.

A dear, old friend and I have been communicating over email for the past several months to talk through some changes in his life recently.  Its been a nice stroll down memory lane and a tremendous realization for where I am in the life we've built.  He referred to the upcoming holidays as Thanksgivingtime and Christmastime because one day is just not enough to celebrate an entire season.  I couldn't agree more!

Thanksgiving means so many things, to so many people yet what surfaces most of all is not the turkey or the dressing, its the togetherness.  The shared experience of the holidays celebrated by a shared meal of giving thanks.  It's aptly timed as we wind down the year, anticipate the Christmas and NewYear holidays.  It allows a simple pause to bow our heads, say a prayer and be filled with gratitude.

We shared stories of holidays past during our time yesterday.  One with my mother on the phone of the year that we forgot cranberry sauce and Al took us for a ride around to town to find a store open who had some.  Back in the late 1970's and early 1980's there were no 24-hour Walmart SuperCenters to rely on.  We found a corner store with a dusty can of Ocean-Spray Cranberry Sauce in the jellied style to purchase quickly and head home.

The other story I shared at our dining table was one involving the bird.  That mainstay. The centerpiece.  And source of consternation between Bill and I year after year.  The bird represents different meanings to each of us.  For Bill it is the center of the Norman Rockwell photo that we will take each Thanksgiving around the table and the turkey.  To me it is the main course of the meal - should be delicious and serve the purpose of also providing a leftovers meal.  Somewhere in the middle is likely where most people land.

My story is that Bill and I have disagreed about the size of the bird more often than we've ever quibbled about Ellie or money.  He insists on a HUGE bird for the photo, and all I can think of is the time it will take to cook, the leftovers that will go to waste and where on Earth will I put it to thaw in the days before the meal!

Here's what I've learned after 15 Thanksgiving's together:

• The things that used to matter so much are really less important these days.
• The size of the turkey.  The time dinner is served. Just the RIGHT sides are made.
• And the small things become much greater.
• As we walked into 9am mass on Thanksgiving morning with Papa and Ellie who went  off to light a candle, Bill picked up my hand as we walked down the aisle.  To mean it meant the world.  I turned to him and said, "I'm so thankful for you today and always."  
• Turkey size doesn't matter, unless it matters to your spouse.  And then all bets are off.  
• For the record we've laughed the last few years as we've purchased our bird.  This year's was 21 lbs. and it seemed just about right.  Didn't cause a raised eyebrow or a questioning tone ... it just was.
• Home is where the heart is, and hopefully where dinner is served.
• Last year we enjoyed Disneyland for it's Jubilee Anniversary celebration.  This happened to occur during Thanksgiving week so dinner was in a grand ballroom.  If given the choice I'd prefer to be home, in the kitchen, with the parade on television as I prep for our meal.  At least the three of us were altogether and there were no dirty dishes to clean!

Turkey .. and more

Each Thanksgiving begins with turkey & ends falling asleep on the couch.  

From the left:  Jeanine, Michael, Papa, Bill, Jude & Ellie

But let's back up.

Trivia:
How many trips to the grocery store did it take to make dinner happen?

• Four - over the course of three days.  

What did we buy but forget to make/serve:

• Mashed potatoes
• Vanilla ice cream

How many pounds was the bird this year?

• 21lbs.

Did the turkey have a name?

• After two glasses of wine does it really matter ... 

As you can see the bird turned out just lovely.  Surrounded by a happy crowd - ready to eat!  If we could rewind like they do in a movie and add, 'two hours earlier,' or 'two days earlier,' there sure would be stories to tell.

We had a wonderful meal.  Family traditions and new additions from Jeanine, who is like family!  The turkey was brined and delicious, the stuffing was fluffy, the vegetables were plentiful - and the LamBRUUUsco was consumed by Bill and Michael!

Ellie was in charge of leading the Thanksgiving blessing.  This is the one she chose, and read beautifully.  She helped throughout the day, making, finding, carrying, taste-testing, taking photos and her laughter filled the day!

Here's what I've learned.

1. It doesn't take genetics to be family.
2. The meal doesn't have to be the best to be just perfect.
3. Brining matters.
4. 15 years of Thanksgivings together and we're only getting better!
5. Thanksgiving isn't just one day, it's a season. (more to come on this one tomorrow...)

Thanksgiving Eve

As we made last minute adjustments to menu, shopping and decor, we had dinner out at Kenny's East Coast Pizza!  They had a special on for the night before Turkey Day - so we indulged in pizza, chopped salad, calamari and $5 glasses of wine!

Even Ellie got in on the act with a tall Shirley Temple fixed generously by a wonderful barmaid!

On to the prep and plan for the bird!

Papa Arrives in Dallas!

Waiting patiently in the car for Papa's flight to arrive into DFW.  We do okay together taking our own photo, huh?

Here's the really wonderful thing about airports.  And especially at holiday time.  

1. People are happy to see one another.  
2. There's a lot of hugging going on.
3. Families don't look like, to like one another.
4. SO MUCH SMILING!

It was a wonderful experience to sit and people watch at a busy airport two days before Thanksgiving.  Although it could have been an overload of chaos, it was peaceful and festive just watching so many people say hello and goodbye to those they love!

New Red Zin that "Tiki" Charlie, or Chuckie as Bill calls him gave us to try.  It's his favorite - and it is wonderful!

Papa and Ellie at the Airport.

Tiki Party

Our friends Charlie and Abby invited us over for a Tiki-themed party on Saturday night.  It had been a long week - traveling, election, Bill solo-parenting all week, and the weekend was no exception!  Three soccer games within twenty-four hours - where Ellie played goalie for 2 of the 3 games!

We spent much time outdoors, cheering and consoling as the team did not make the finals to be played on Sunday.  (Small, quiet cheer from ALL the parents!)  So off to Charlie's we went after cleaning up from the 11:15am and 4:15pm games.

He assured us that Ellie was welcome to join us and had a special treat in mind for her when we arrived.  He cored a pineapple and served her non-alcoholic Tiki drink in it!  She thought it was pretty neat!  We had lots of pineapple, coconut and drink umbrellas after that.  They grilled scallops and shrimp with bacon on the grill, and served mini-egg rolls and pot stickers with a variety of sauces to try!

And a tiki party would not be complete without a variety of floral leis to choose from ... here are just a few from the event!

Soccer Season Comes to an End

Ellie is very proud to be the 'sweeper' on the team!  She works closely with our goalie, Hannah to communicate and do everything she's able to get the ball blocked BEFORE it reaches Hannah.
She loves her role, and how she sees all the girls growing so much into their own roles and working together as a team.  What a long way we've come!  This is her 6th season of soccer in TEXAS!  Fall and Spring each year since we've arrived - WOW!

From the top:
Coach Mario and Coach Cheryl
Hannah, Jenna and Ellie
Katie, Elizabeth, Leah and Jade
Leah, Miram and Jackie

Truth be told we're missing another Leah and Iona.  Who'd have thought three Leah's on one team?

They are so much fun to watch.  How they support one another, encourage one another and work together.  Its no wonder as the parents of these girls are amazing too!  We've spent many hours with our chairs on the sidelines cheering them on together!

This weekend is our last tournament.  We are happy and sad.  We're ready to move on to other weekend activities and we're sad to lose our weekend friends!

Veteran's Day 2016

Ellie had this note waiting for me when I arrived home from Phoenix on Friday evening.  She handed me an folded up paper very solemnly.  She explained that they each wrote a letter to a Veteran today and she chose my Dad.

When she asked me once what she would have called him I told her that I called my grandfather Poppy, and he was married to my Grammy.  So I believed she would have called him Poppy too.

And so she has ....