Thanksgivingtime

Bill and Jude - Thanksgiving-time 2001

Today is a bit of a stroll down memory lane of Thanksgiving time.  The first holiday Bill and I celebrated together was Thanksgiving.  Its also the holiday that I associate with getting engaged as we did the evening before Thanksgiving.  It seems so long ago, and just yesterday just the same.

Below is a newspaper clipped from the mid-1990's.  Its a Sharon Randall column about Thanksgiving that I carried around in my wallet for years.  Yes, I'm one of those people.  I loved reading this one in particular because each year the holidays change, and this story shows us that that's okay too.

A dear, old friend and I have been communicating over email for the past several months to talk through some changes in his life recently.  Its been a nice stroll down memory lane and a tremendous realization for where I am in the life we've built.  He referred to the upcoming holidays as Thanksgivingtime and Christmastime because one day is just not enough to celebrate an entire season.  I couldn't agree more!

Thanksgiving means so many things, to so many people yet what surfaces most of all is not the turkey or the dressing, its the togetherness.  The shared experience of the holidays celebrated by a shared meal of giving thanks.  It's aptly timed as we wind down the year, anticipate the Christmas and NewYear holidays.  It allows a simple pause to bow our heads, say a prayer and be filled with gratitude.

We shared stories of holidays past during our time yesterday.  One with my mother on the phone of the year that we forgot cranberry sauce and Al took us for a ride around to town to find a store open who had some.  Back in the late 1970's and early 1980's there were no 24-hour Walmart SuperCenters to rely on.  We found a corner store with a dusty can of Ocean-Spray Cranberry Sauce in the jellied style to purchase quickly and head home.

The other story I shared at our dining table was one involving the bird.  That mainstay. The centerpiece.  And source of consternation between Bill and I year after year.  The bird represents different meanings to each of us.  For Bill it is the center of the Norman Rockwell photo that we will take each Thanksgiving around the table and the turkey.  To me it is the main course of the meal - should be delicious and serve the purpose of also providing a leftovers meal.  Somewhere in the middle is likely where most people land.

My story is that Bill and I have disagreed about the size of the bird more often than we've ever quibbled about Ellie or money.  He insists on a HUGE bird for the photo, and all I can think of is the time it will take to cook, the leftovers that will go to waste and where on Earth will I put it to thaw in the days before the meal!

Here's what I've learned after 15 Thanksgiving's together:

• The things that used to matter so much are really less important these days.
• The size of the turkey.  The time dinner is served. Just the RIGHT sides are made.
• And the small things become much greater.
• As we walked into 9am mass on Thanksgiving morning with Papa and Ellie who went  off to light a candle, Bill picked up my hand as we walked down the aisle.  To mean it meant the world.  I turned to him and said, "I'm so thankful for you today and always."  
• Turkey size doesn't matter, unless it matters to your spouse.  And then all bets are off.  
• For the record we've laughed the last few years as we've purchased our bird.  This year's was 21 lbs. and it seemed just about right.  Didn't cause a raised eyebrow or a questioning tone ... it just was.
• Home is where the heart is, and hopefully where dinner is served.
• Last year we enjoyed Disneyland for it's Jubilee Anniversary celebration.  This happened to occur during Thanksgiving week so dinner was in a grand ballroom.  If given the choice I'd prefer to be home, in the kitchen, with the parade on television as I prep for our meal.  At least the three of us were altogether and there were no dirty dishes to clean!