Yes, our princess wears soccer cleats. She runs, kicks, plays hard and now has lost her first game of the season. With so many wins behind her team this season, they didn't quite know how to process a loss.
They were outplayed. Fair and square. The other team didn't have two or three strong players like ours, it had 9 strong players .. on the field at the same time. They were quick, their passes were accurate and they played together extremely well.
And our girls didn't know what to do with themselves. Several shut down before the game was over. They weren't used to processing the emotion of losing. Of Grace and Kirby not on constant breakaway to pass and score. Of being able to celebrate a victory.
Losing teaches us so much. And yet, it can be a painful lesson. Ellie kicked the grass and pouted on the way to the car. "I don't like losing," she said. And things like, 'well you can't win them all,' don't mean much at that point.
So we went home and got her something to eat, into a hot shower and then talked about what losing means. I talked about what happens when the other team scores. How can she bounce back from that? I told her about how I used to watch my brother John shake off being scored on in youth hockey, and how Jeremy explained how he wouldn't worry about the batter that just got a hit but only on executing the next pitch when he played baseball in college.
I talked to Ellie about how to focus. Not on what just happened, and not on what is going to happen. To focus on what is happening at that moment. Because there is where she can make a difference. We talked about how to get herself back in the game after a player gets by her and then scores on the goalie. And even if she masters all of that, sometimes you're going to lose.
Losing is part of life, I told her. Sometimes losing motivates you to play harder. Sometimes it reminds us how very sweet winning can be. But most of all it reminds us that we don't win each time.
Even Babe Ruth, who hit 714 home runs also struck out 1,330 times.
I'm glad she's on the field. That she loves being part of her team. I love to hear her help the other girls find their place on the field. "Girls! Move up!" she'll yell to them as they position themselves for an oncoming player. I know one loss won't take her down. They may lose again before the season is over. What I do hope is that next time it doesn't sting so much, and reminds them, 'you can't win them all!"